In the previous post I talked about how to identify toxic people in our life. So now questions becomes, how do I deal with them once I have identified them? nThe most important thing to remember is that If someone is causing damage to your life, then he’s toxic and should be dealt with accordingly. People
who suck the life out of you with negative attitudes, constant complaining, gossip, selfishness, or extreme dependency are damaging you in a way that can cause
depression and anxiety.
“You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, employer, childhood friend, or a new acquaintance – you don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.” — Daniell Koepke
Until you let go of all the toxic people in your life younwill never be able to grow into your fullest potential. Let them go so you can grow but cutting toxic people out of your life can blow up in your face. That’s the sad part of it. With that said, it’s absolutely crucial to remove these people from your life in a healthy and rational way. So how do you go about removing these toxic people from your life and reclaiming the time and energy you’ve been giving them?
Accept that it might be a process.
Getting rid of toxic elements isn’t always easy. They don’t respect your boundaries now, so it’s likely they won’t respect them later. They might
come back even after you tell them to go away. You might have to tell them to leave several times before they finally do. So keep in mind that distancing yourself is a gradual process.
Establish Boundaries and Don’t Apologize for Them
Boundaries are instrumental in maintaining
your sanity and health. If people don’t respect
your boundaries, they aren’t respecting you.
Make your own personal boundaries, and don’t be afraid to tell other if they cross
Don’t feel like you owe them a huge explanation.
Any explaining you do is more for you than for them. Again, tell them how you feel, which is a subject not open for debate. Or, if you prefer, keep it simple: Tell them calmly and kindly that you don’t want them in your life anymore, and leave it at that. How much or how little you tell them is really up to you. Every relationship requires a different approach.
Consider creating distance instead of separation.
Depending on the type of toxicity lets say a drag. You don’t have to cut these people out of your life completely. You just need to create distance by occupying your time with other friends and activities, and agreeing not to feed into their dynamic.
It’s tempting to fall into the dynamic of toxicity by arguing or fighting — that is precisely what toxic people do. In the event they do return, make a promise with yourself to avoid an argument. You’re not trying to “debate” the person into leaving you alone. This isn’t a negotiation. You can, however, make it less and less attractive for them to keep bothering you.
After thought. It’s important to remember that when you remove toxic people from your life, you’ll go through an adjustment period during which you might question your decision or rationalize the behavior of the toxic person. Be strong and remember that you are doing this for your own good — and for the good of your family. Negativity will eventually manifest itself physically and emotionally, causing a ripple effect that will impact both you and your loved ones.