Loneliness is something that finds us all when we think about it and when we’re by ourselves when we don’t want to be. It creeps up when we desperately feel like we need someone special but can’t seem to find anything more than a friend that wishes they could help. Sometimes a friend cannot be found when your willing to settle for one. Sometimes it passes quickly, and sometimes it sticks around to try to drive us to insanity. Its like a creature lying in wait to take us at our weakest moment, but only toying with us when we give up to it. But in the end it always passes. There is always something to appreciate and someone to cheer us up. We adapt and overcome. Life is a gift with much more to it than a passing emotion. All around us are beautiful things to console us. Life is much more than one feeling. It is as great as we let it be.” Joshua Hartzell
Here are few tips on how to cope and overcome loniness.
Realize that loneliness is a feeling, not a fact.
When you are feeling lonely, it is because something has triggered a memory of that feeling, not because you are in fact, isolated and alone. At time theories about why you are feeling lonely can become confused with facts. Then it becomes a bigger problem so just realize that you are having this feeling and accept it without over reacting.
Separate your feelings from reality.
Recognize that feeling lonely doesn’t mean you are alone. There are a handful of people who love and care for you. In the moment when you’re feeling lonely, it’s hard to remember these people and that they are there. But
the truth is that they do exist and to them, you matter. And despite the feeling that you are alone, you are most certainly not alone in how you feel or what you’re going through. There are so many other people in the world who feel just as isolated and invisible as you do. When
you find yourself feeling hopeless and inadequate, remind yourself of these people and that they are right beside you, fighting your same fight .
Because loneliness is painful and can confuse you into thinking that you are a loser, an outcast. You might react by withdrawing into yourself, your thoughts, and your lonely feelings and this is not helpful. At its best, anticipation of loneliness might motivate us to reach out and cultivate friendships, which is the healthiest
thing to do if you are sad and alone.
Feel your feelings.
When we start feeling the pang of loneliness, our first instinct is to find some way to get rid of it. Whether that means ignoring our feelings completely, stuffing them down, or trying to numb out using unhealthy coping mechanisms, we think that by avoiding our pain we can escape it. But in doing so, we end up perpetuating our hurt and keeping ourselves stuck. Easing the loneliness takes allowing yourself to feel your feelings. Whether that means crying, journaling about how you feel, deep breathing, or simply sitting with the emotions, give yourself permission to feel your
loneliness. Don’t judge your feelings or yourself for feeling them. Acknowledge the loneliness, and let it be. Be curious about why it’s there, and instead of treating it with criticism, tend to it with compassion and kindness.
Remind yourself that it will pass.
In the moment, the pain of loneliness feels as though it will last forever. It feels wounding and incapacitating, and the idea of going another minute feeling this pain seems unbearable. But the truth is that like all feelings, it will pass. Maybe not this minute, maybe not for an hour
or for the remainder of the night, but it will eventually subside. Feelings are like waves. They come in strong, peek, and then fade. Loneliness is no exception. Just because
you’re feeling it’s pain now doesn’t mean you will feel it’s pain forever. Breathe. In and out. Again and again, and remind yourself that this will pass. Remind yourself that you will make it through. Remind yourself that you have felt this loneliness before and survived it, and so, you
can survive it today. It will pass. It always has and always will..